What to do if you are being ignored at work
I was the marketing director at a $100 million nonprofit with 1,200 employees and was housed in the Development department, whose goal was to raise unrestricted funds for the nonprofit. The team of nine in our department was all fundraising professionals, while I was the sole marketing professional.
When the department lead hired a marketing coordinator, I was the only team member not invited to interview candidates. I brought this up to her in our team meeting and was told that my opinion on this candidate didn’t matter, as this role was to focus on fundraising. Her perspective was that this role would report to her and, therefore, only fundraising team members would be interviewing the candidate. I took offense at this, given the new hire’s title, but in retrospect, I see that the situation could have been handled better on both sides.
First, I should have brought up my objections in a private meeting. I knew that the department lead liked to appear in control; bringing up the discrepancy in job title and not being part of the hiring process may have undermined her authority in front of the team. However, I wanted the department lead to understand that the job title was confusing, as our team members and others in the organization asked why this new role would not be reporting to me.
My perspective was valid, as executives, including the CEO, expressed their excitement for me to have marketing support, despite this not being the case. As the sole marketer in the organization, employees looked to me to answer marketing questions. Thus, I took the new hire’s title -“marketing coordinator” - as a personal slight. This position easily could have been titled “development coordinator.”
How could I have handled this better? You might think that the department lead could have handled it better, too (I agree); however, the only person you can truly change is yourself, so you must start within.
Write down everything you are feeling. Writing down feelings allows your brain to process what is happening and gives you space to remove the emotional from the logical. While your feelings may still be valid, you greatly reduce the risk of saying something you might regret. When I learned in the team meeting that I would not be interviewing the candidate, I should have started by writing down everything I heard and felt.
Start a dialogue with human resources in person to express your feelings and verify that you understand the situation correctly. An in-person meeting is important to allow the HR director to notice subliminal cues and body language. These inform the entire picture of your experience.
Once you have a solid understanding of the situation, you will be better positioned to have a productive face-to-face conversation with the department lead. It’s important to clearly articulate your feelings and use data to back up your points. The conversation with HR gives you practice to formulate your thoughts.
Have a private conversation with the department lead and human resources. It is critical to have an extra person in the room to be aware of what transpires and act as a mediator. Express your goal for the meeting and lay out your points. Reference your written document, if needed, to stay on task.
If the outcome is not desirable, maintain composure. Unfortunately, things do not always go our way. DO NOT disparage the other parties. I listened to a former boss disparage former team members, and those memories will never go away. People will always remember you talking poorly about others.
In my case, I didn’t follow the steps above. I ended up leaving the company for many reasons. However, this situation could have been less toxic had it been handled with more care and inquiry.