The other day I got into my car in the garage and turned it on. My radio volume had been left up, so a pop song started playing. My car was parked with the front facing our ride-on mower, so the car detection system began a long, loud beeeeeeeeep. I hadn’t yet fastened my seat belt, but my car let me know. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

Holy Christ. SHUT UP.

I have a sensitivity to sounds, so that doesn’t help. Thanks vestibular migraine. But a predisposition to sound isn’t the only reason this sound buffet was incredibly annoying.

We hear too many things in a day. There is too much noise. The peer-reviewed articles I researched evaluated noise pollution in terms of decibel levels. I’m not talking about loudness; I’m referring to the amount of noise and sounds we collectively take in in a day.

I love the sounds of nature, the chirp of birds in the morning, the rustle of dry leaves in the breeze, and the patter of rain on the roof. What I’m tired of are the many ways in which our appliances and things have become “helpful.”

The dishwasher plays a tune when it’s done
The washer and dryer play another tune when they are done
When I leave the refrigerator door open a few seconds too long, I hear a musical chime
My FitBit reminds me to stand up with a ding and a haptic
My Teams messages chime every time someone sends a message
My car has endless ways to annoy me, such as above, and if I leave a package on the passenger seat that is heavy enough to engage the seatbelt notification. I sometimes put the seatbelt around my bag.

Are these notifications helpful? Sometimes, and yes, for those with disabilities. Can I turn off these notifications? In many cases, yes. And I do.

I sometimes dream about a 1993 Jeep Cherokee with the key that you actually put into the ignition, a window that you roll down, and a hot/cold temperature control that is simply the slider button from blue “cool” to red “hot.” It was so simple.

This quote from a Reddit user perfectly sums up my feelings: “I lived in a place that had a Samsung microwave/hood fan combo, and it had the option to turn off all beeping. It was the single greatest thing in my adult life. I spend every day chasing that high, and I don't think I'll ever find it again.”

When someone can teach me how to disable all of the sounds in a Mini Cooper Countryman, hit me up.

Beep, beep, beep, beep……

We are in a reading recession